The funniest jokes ever for adults. 100 Funny Adult Jokes

The funniest jokes ever for adults Rating: 9,2/10 309 reviews

Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty

the funniest jokes ever for adults

You didn't tell me you had a prescription. ” Top Joke in England Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine? Q: What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? A: Because he was outstanding in his field. Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Because is saw a lolly pop Q: Did you hear about the sick juggler? A: At least a zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums on your face! Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Q: Why did the log fall into a creek? Here come the long funny stories! Q: What do you call a window that raps? Q: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? A: a Roman Catholic Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? ~~~~~ Q: How do you make a tissue dance? Funny Adult Joke 66 What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off 43. Q: What do you call a gangbanger behind bars? Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one. A: Because he had no-body to go with.

Next

160 Funny Jokes For Adults

the funniest jokes ever for adults

Q: How man Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, honestly, we understand that it is too interesting for you, our dear readers, to leave this page just because of your age. Funny Adult Joke 69 What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Funny Adult Joke 14 Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie? Funny Adult Joke 15 Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary? Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other? Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? Finally, she made her choice and asked the spotty youth who was manning the fabric section. A: Tooth-hurty Q: What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? Q: Whats long, hard and erects stuff? A: Kermit the frogs finger Q: What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Funny Adult Joke 40 How does a man show that he is planning for the future? Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. A: They already fell for that trick once. Q: Why are crippled people always picked on? A: You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball! Then I asked my wife for help. Read even more hilarious corny jokes for kids and adults below 101 Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died? Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman? ~~~~~ Q: What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? Q: What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? ~~~~~ Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? Q: Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? Because it got stuck in a crack. The doctor replies, “ You only have 24 hours to live.

Next

160 Funny Jokes For Adults

the funniest jokes ever for adults

A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby. Q: What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Funny Adult Joke 80 What do you find in a clean nose? Q: What did the alien say to the garden? The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “ I don't know, it all happened so fast. Q: What kind of key opens a banana? Funny Knock Knock Jokes For Adults 81. Q: What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Q: Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? Short Funny Jokes For Adults 1. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. Guess where it would have bitten? Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Funny Adult Joke 63 What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Only the boldest persons will use them in conversations.

Next

Clean Jokes

the funniest jokes ever for adults

A: Through the World Wide Web. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls. A: Spit, swallow, and gargle, Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards. Here they are: Best Joke in the world A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. Funny Adult Joke 43 I married Miss Right. Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book? Q: Did you hear about the ghost comedian? Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. Q: What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “ I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you! It would be nice if you came second for a change.

Next

100 Funny Adult Jokes

the funniest jokes ever for adults

Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh? A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen. Q: Why do they call it the wonder bra? ” Which day of the week do fish hate? Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? We have picked the best adult jokes for you and hope you will enjoy the reading! Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? Looking to make your friends laugh with a statement that could fill a tweet and still leave you plenty of characters? ~~~~~ Q: What do boobs and toys have in common? A: Dinners on me Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Do these turkeys get any bigger? Why does no one on icarly have a dad? I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snow man? Q: Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Funny Adult Joke 35 How do you know when a Barbie has her period? A: He needed to get to the bottom! Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? A: Because they have their own scales. Budweiser girlfriend walking funny 90. Funny Clean Jokes For Adults 91. Q: Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist? Q: Why did the belt go to jail? Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. ~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? The bartender asks the man what he wants. One can say that these jokes are too close to the reality to be funny, but they are still created for laugh.

Next

Short Jokes: The 40 Funniest Short Jokes You'll Ever Hear in Your Life

the funniest jokes ever for adults

~~~~~ Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing. ~~~~~ Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision? Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. ~~~~~ Q: What do preists and Mcdonalds have in common? Q: What did one tampon say to the other? Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride. What happens when you get scared half to death twice? Top Joke in Scotland I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. .


Next

Funny Jokes for Adults

the funniest jokes ever for adults

A: Ouch Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up. Q: Did you hear the joke about the germ? Q: Name the five great kings that have brought happiness in to peoples lives A: Drinking Licking sucking fucking and wanking. Fat Kid: The lunch bell Q: Why did the two 4's skip lunch? A:Because he was looking for Pooh If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? Their old familiar carols play. A: To get to the second hand shop. ~~~~~ Q: Did you hear about that new broom? Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “ That's not it” and put it down again.

Next

Short Dirty Jokes

the funniest jokes ever for adults

A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in. Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: O I C U Q: Where does bad light go? Q: Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A: Because then it would be a foot! If the blind can read your face. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them. A: Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet. Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock? A: Because their plugged into a genius! With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

Next